Walking away not knowing what was more overwhelming; the pain in my chest or the sudden absence of reason. I struggled not to turn around. How had this happened? How could this be? I scanned through memories drawing blanks on the answers that should be there. My feet seemed to move by themselves shuffling down the path I knew all too well. I wondered for a moment would he come after me. I glanced back to look at the house one last time, sending a shot of pain to my heart and tears to my eyes.

  I swung open the door to my little car. It shook as I flopped down into the seat. I tried wiping the tears away. It a a lost cause. Shaking taking deep breaths I forced the key into the ignition. 40 min. later I was pulling into the Better Valley Inn. I paid for my room and staggered down the long hallway. I was past tired. Feeling dizzy it became harder and harder to keep my eyes open. I slid my room key in the door. Open, shut, and I was on the bed. The day swirled around in my head until finally, it all went dark.  

                                                                     

                           

 

 

                          

 

                                   

 

 

 

 

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Chapter 1- Ren- 'I felt like an addict withdrawing from some impossibly strong narcotic. At this point I was. HE had been my drug. Withdrawal is painful.'

 

Chapter 2-Ren-'As painful as it was to be with HIM,it was excruciating without HIM'

 

Chapter 3-Ren-'You can't say 'You don't know whats best for me' and expect to be taken seriously, when it was so obviously a lie.'

 

Chapter 4-Ren-'A range of emotions flooded my heart and mind. I had gotten it all wrong.'

 

Chapter 5-Ren-'Curling back up under my blanket, reality had invaded my bubble; I was going to have to face some hard facts.'

 

Chapter 6-Ren-'Had he developed some sadistic torture method over the years to penalize me for my previous betrayal?'

 

Chapter 7-Ren-'Loosening my hold on him I slowly moved away, nodding in silent agreement that a line should remain uncrossed.'

 

Chapter 8-Ren-'I looked around thinking maybe I shouldn't but curiosity won out and I opened the dresser.'

 

Chapter 9-Ren-'I made a personal vow to win this game I had unknowingly started last night.'

 

Chapter 10-Ren-'Knowing this was a necessary chore, and there would be plenty of time for torture later, I got busy.'

 

Chapter 11-Ren-'Regretful about what took me so long to realize, yet happy I finally had.'

 

Chapter 12-Ren-'Sickened by my own stupidity, I wondered what I ever saw in HIM.'

 

Chapter 13-Ren-'Speculating on whether I was willing to compromise what little integrity I had left, I noticed tears filling my eyes.'

 

Chapter 14-Ren-'Tired of how difficult it all was and considering I brought most of it on myself, I guessed it was my penance for all the bad decisions I made.'

 

Chapter 15-Ren-'My thoughts became thick with dissappointment.'

 

Chapter 16-Ren-'Suddenly the realness of it hit me and panicked tears streamed down my face.'

 

Chapter 17-Ren-'I could have sworn nothing would ever happen between us, but all it took was the right set of circomstances.'